How to Create a Balanced Custody Plan
For parents who aren't together, creating and maintaining a fair custody plan is often an emotionally charged issue. A well-crafted parenting plan gives children stability and encourages cooperation between the parents.
The Law & Mediation Office of Sarah Turner helps Tennessee families like yours develop custody arrangements that reflect your child's needs while respecting your legal rights as parents.
Tennessee law requires a Permanent Parenting Plan in every divorce involving minor children. The plan defines how parenting time and decision-making responsibilities are shared. Courts focus on what supports the child’s best interests, not what each parent wants. That's why preparation, honesty, and compromise are so important when building a successful plan.
Legal and Physical Custody Defined
Before creating a plan, it helps to understand the difference between legal and physical custody. Legal custody refers to the right to make major decisions about the child’s life, such as education, religion, and health care. Physical custody concerns where the child lives and how time is divided between households.
In Tennessee, both forms of custody may be awarded solely or jointly. Joint legal custody means both parents have a say in important matters involving their child or children. Joint physical custody means each parent has the child or children in his or her home 50% of the year.
Factors Courts Use to Determine Parenting Time
Tennessee courts do not use a single formula to decide parenting arrangements. Instead, they weigh several statutory factors to craft a schedule they determine to be in the child’s best interest. These statutory factors guide the judge when establishing, approving, or modifying a parenting plan:
Quality and duration of the parent-child relationship: The emotional bond between a parent and child is considered as well as who has historically be the primary parent of the child. When determining who has historically been the child's primary parent, the court will consider things such as which parent had the child in his or her physical custody more often, which parent was more involved in the child's education, healthcare, extracurricular activities, etc., and which parent assisted the child with homework or school projects, cooked or prepared meals for the child, or guaranteed the child was prepared for school or other commitments more often.
Ability to provide for the child’s needs: This includes housing, schooling, and medical care.
Stability of each home and the conduct of those residing in each home: Courts want to minimize disruption to the child’s routine and ensure the people exposed to the child will promote the best interest of the child and not pose a risk to the child's physical, emotional, or mental safety and well-being.
Willingness to foster a relationship with the other parent: Encouraging a positive relationship between the child or children and the other parent is often a crucial factor considered by the court.
Any history of abuse towards the other parent or child: Protection of the child is always the top concern and a history of abuse towards the other parent or child will be a factor that weighs against the parent found to have been abusive.
Courts also consider each parent’s mental and physical health, work schedules, and the child’s preferences (depending on age and maturity). All of these factors combine to help the court determine a parenting arrangement that is in the child's best interest.
Why Courts Prioritize the Child’s Best Interest
All custody decisions in Tennessee revolve around one question: what’s best for the child? That means judges look beyond parental preferences or past grievances. The law requires a focus on providing continuity, emotional support, and physical care.
Parents who demonstrate cooperation, active involvement, and respect for the child’s needs tend to have better outcomes. Judges look for consistency, not perfection. Showing that you're willing to work together is often as important as your proposed schedule.
Customizing a Parenting Plan to Fit Your Family
Every family has different circumstances. A plan that works for a toddler may not suit a teenager. Parents are encouraged to build a customized plan that meets their child’s needs and reflects the practical realities of their lives.
Some issues to think about include each parent's work hours, a child's school activities and special needs, and how far apart the parents live. If parents live in different counties or states, longer visits during school breaks may be appropriate. Flexibility and communication go a long way in maintaining peace and continuity.
Common Parenting Schedules
The right schedule depends on the child’s age, parents’ availability, and how well they cooperate. There’s no one-size-fits-all model, and courts in Tennessee are required to consider every custody or visitation matter individually, evaluating the specific facts of each case against the statutory factors. While every case is evaluated and considered based on the specific facts of that particular case, several options tend to work well for many Tennessee families:
Alternating weeks: Each parent has the child for a full week, switching on a set day.
2-2-3 plan: Parent A has the child for two days every week, Parent B has two days every week, and then the parents rotate a three-day weekend weekly.
Every other weekend with midweek visit: Parent B gets the child every other weekend and one or more overnights with the child during the week she or he does not have weekend parenting time.
Extended weekends: Parent B gets the child every other weekend, beginning on a Wednesday or Thursday and ending the following Monday or Tuesday.
Split holidays and breaks: Major holidays and school breaks are divided evenly.
A parenting plan must also include provisions for transportation, child support, vacation schedules, and dispute resolution. When parents agree upfront on these details, they reduce future conflicts and create a more predictable environment for the child.
How Parenting Plans Address School and Medical Decisions
When parents share legal custody, they both have the right to make decisions about key issues like schooling and medical care. Disagreements in these areas can cause tension if expectations are not clearly expressed. Any custody or visitation order or parenting plan should explain how decisions are made and how disagreements will be resolved. This avoids confusion and keeps communication focused on the child’s best interests.
Plans should also include how and when parents will communicate about important updates. For example, some parents agree to notify each other in advance of any medical appointments for the child. Others designate specific times to discuss academic concerns or doctor appointments. Details such as these help avoid misunderstandings and promote cooperative co-parenting.
Mistakes to Avoid When Drafting a Custody Plan
Even with the best intentions, parents can make mistakes when drafting a plan. Some errors can lead to long-term conflict or court challenges later. To avoid unnecessary complications, be mindful of the following:
Vague or incomplete terms: Specificity helps prevent misunderstandings.
Unrealistic parenting schedule: Parenting plans should reflect the parents’ actual availability and craft a schedule that is workable for not only the parents but taking into consideration the child's obligations and time commitments.
Failure to address changes: Anticipate and plan for relocation, new jobs, or remarriage.
Ignoring the child’s input: Older children often appreciate being heard.
Not documenting agreements: Verbal understandings aren’t enforceable in court.
Putting everything in writing, even for minor points, creates a stronger, more enforceable plan that both parents can follow.
The Importance of Consistent Routines for Children
Children benefit from structure, especially during and after a family separation. When both homes follow similar routines for meals, bedtime, homework, and screen time, children feel more secure. Predictable schedules help them adjust emotionally and reduce stress caused by transitions. Consistency reinforces a sense of safety even when living in two households.
Parenting plans that promote routine make it easier for children to thrive academically and socially. Parents should ideally communicate regularly to stay aligned on expectations and daily habits. This doesn’t mean both homes must be identical, nor does it mean one parent can control what happens in the other parent's home—just that parents should be informed of important aspects of a child's life and how those aspects are being addressed or accommodated in each parent's home. Stability helps build resilience over time.
Modifying a Custody Plan When Life Changes
Life is unpredictable, and custody plans sometimes need to change. Tennessee law allows either parent to request a modification if there’s a material change in circumstances. This could include a job relocation, a change in employment for either parent that results in a change to his or her work schedule, the increased age of a child, or several other situations affecting the child’s well-being.
To succeed, the parent requesting the change must show that the modification is in the child’s best interest. Courts prefer that parents resolve disagreements through mediation first, which can save time and reduce stress for everyone involved.
When to Seek Mediation or Legal Help
Mediation is a good option when parents hit a roadblock but still want to avoid the expense, unpredictability, and stress of court. A neutral mediator helps guide productive conversations about custody or parenting time. It gives both parents a voice and keeps the focus on the child’s needs. Many families resolve disagreements faster, with less animosity, and for less money by utilizing the mediation process.
Legal help may be needed when mediation fails or a parent refuses to follow the plan. A lawyer can help you understand your rights and represent your interests in court. Judges can intervene when a child’s welfare is at stake or when a modification is needed. Legal guidance makes sure that the plan continues to serve the child well long after it is entered.
Reach Out to a Lawyer
If you're creating or modifying a parenting plan, the Law & Mediation Office of Sarah Turner can help you develop a solution tailored to your child's best interests.
Sarah Turner works with families across Tennessee, including Shelby County, Tipton County, Fayette County, and Hardeman County. Reach out to get started on a balanced custody plan that supports your child's future.